Joy,Sorrow, and Hope

Well, this week has been like a roller coaster,and anyone who knows me, knows that I hate roller coasters. I'm afraid of them because I don't know what is going to happen next...just like my week. The week started off great with an adoption shower at church for Abby-Grace(sorry I don't have pics, our real computer is broken.I promise I will post soon). It was so wonderful and I was so full of joy being able to finally answer the question"When will you get her?" We received a bunch of stuff for her but what really touched my heart was the excitement and support everyone had for her arrival. I could see the finish line right in front of us. As the work week began, I started hearing about the swine flu but I had know idea how much it would effect my life. The week went on and I started hearing rumors that it may start impacting travel in the adoption world. I emailed our agency but before I received an answer, the Chinese Consulate of Adoption Affairs put out a statement. They are taking this very seriously and some agencies are not allowing their families to travel. One I know of was to leave a week from today and had tickets etc.What a crime in my mind. I took this statement from the CCAA to mean they would not be sending out any more travel approvals. Which we don't have yet. Some people were saying it could be 3-5 months until things are back to normal. Let's just say I had a mini breakdown with all this information swirling around. I have SO been dreaming of finally seeing her sweet face,of her NOT being in the orphanage for her bday,of having the summer off to spend outside with her. This time was the closest I have ever felt to her,it felt SO good but made the idea of a set back hurt SO bad. Thursday afternoon I talked to my adoption coordinator - She told me that they have not received any word that Travel approvals have stopped being given and that there is still a chance that we could possibly keep our tenative dates. It is hard to get accurate information because it is a holiday in China and everything is closed. So there is my tiny ray of hope,that I am holding onto. We should have received our TA by now,it is usually 2-4 weeks and it was 5 weeks on Thursday. I am trying so hard to trust God and believe that he has it all under control. It is times like this I feel like such a weak Christian. I am scared and worried and don't understand why this is all happening. I'm annoyed that this swine flu is being made such a big deal of, when according to my friend in the health profession,over 20,000 people die a year from just the regular old influenza we get every winter. It's ridiculous to have these children in orphanages wait longer,they've already waited TOO LONG. I am trying to put my focus and prayer into HOPE and see what next week brings. It is either going to be really good news or really bad news. PLEASE pray for this adoption and Abby-Grace, that God would put his protective hand around this adoption.

We have (Tentative) dates!!!

I talked to the adoption agency and we got (tentative)dates!!!!! We will be leaving on June 5th arriving on the 7th ( we lose a day on the 16 hr flight..yikes) We get Abby on June 8th, consulate appt(adoption finalization)would be June 16th and we leave on June 18th, which is the same day we arrive home(we gain a day). I am beyond excited. We haven't received our travel approval but it should be coming any day, then these dates will be finalized. 45 days until I finally get to see her in person and hug her and begin the next journey... Forever family. I feel so blessed..thank you God for this remarkable gift.

A visit from Meizhi and her mom

Friday I got an little "training" for life with a five year old. My friend Erin came over with her daughter Meizhi. She is just TOO cute. That bought Abby- Grace a few gifts. She is very energetic and really kept Chuck on his toes.LOL I also realized how unprepared my household is. I had NO plastic cups.(not one), a screwdriver lying on the floor of Abby's closet(Cameron!) and 2 dogs that didn't know what to think of this little person. It was wonderful to hear the the little voice and laughter of a child. Everyday is a day closer to Abby-Grace.

Happy Easter Abby-Grace

Well,it is Easter morning, I am sitting in the quiet after hiding the eggs and I just got this wave of missing Abby. I am SO close and yet so far away. Oh how I wish she was up sleeping in her bed or even better too excited about the bunny to sleep. Another holiday without her and though my heart is filled with excitment and joy at how close we are to getting her..I feel the tug of heartache on this day of family.Hopefully, this is the last holiday without her.
I almost have her welcome bag finished.The photo album is taking longer than I thought. I bought a mother/daughter necklace, where the two parts fit together to make a heart,it is on a satin cord. I would love it if she had it on when we meet her on "gotcha day". It is my favorite thing in her bag.
Easter is a day filled with hope that our heartaches and sadness are not the end of the story. God has good things planned in the days ahead. When I think about where I was a year ago and how close I am to having a daughter now,I am an awe of God's grace and feel So blessed and isn't that what it's all about. Happy Easter!

Preparing for Abby-Grace

Here are some photos of Chuck and I signing the "Letter of Acceptance" for Lianqing and her bedroom so far. Her room still needs a few finshing touches and I'll re-post when we get that done. I was excited to share what we have done so far. The agency said I could send her a welcome bag. I am going to send her a photo album. I have to get photos of faces and places that will be part of her new life. It is suppose to make the transition easier. I am also going to send a toy and maybe some candy for the older children at the orphanage. What an exciting time.:)

I just got the call ! WE are LOA

I Just got the call that we got our letter of approval today!! I am beyond excited. This is the final approval from China so ABBY is ours! We will get a final paper next day aired tomorrow, that we sign to say YES! we want to adopt her. Next step travel approval and then we go to China. I have so many emotions running through me, right now I could just burst with happiness. The agency thinks travel will be end of May or beginning of June. It won't be long now and best of all.. the orphanage will tell her she is going to be adopted:) Please continue to pray for her and us that the Lord continues to guide us! What an awesome God! I feel so blessed!!!!

What A Difference A Year Makes

A year ago today, I got the news that Vietnam was closing and we were not far enough on the waiting list to get a referral. We were 20 spots short. I remember reading the email at work and feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach, having to leave work early because I couldn't hold in the grief and heartbreak. Our "last chance" had fallen through and I had no hope and I didn't understand why God was allowing this to happen again. I remember feeling SO HOPELESS and now a year later, here we are with pictures of a little girl from China( the country we always felt we were supppose to adopt from) and a pink bedroom in our house. Our God IS Awesome and truly Amazing.I couldn't see this plan all those night I cried myself to sleep but he already knew he had picked out this little girl for us and what a long and crazy road we would have to take to find her. When we started on this adoption road, we would have never considered a child with a repaired cleft lip or an older child. We wanted a perfect little baby, like most parents. Now I look at Lianqing and she looks perfect to me and I wonder WHY I insisted on a baby, which brings me to a poem that was sent to me by a Mom we may be traveling with when we go to China. She said it reminded her of Abby and when I read it, tears came to my eyes because I am sure Lianqing has seen this scenerio played out many times.
The Waiting Child
An Adoption Poem
By Debbie Bodie
I saw you meet your child today
You kissed your baby joyfully
And as you walked away with him
I played pretend you'd chosen me.
I'm happy for the baby, yet
Inside I'm aching miserably
I want to plead as you go by,
"Does no-one want a child of three?"
I saw you meet your child today
In love with her before you met
And as I watched you take her out
I knew it wasn't my turn yet.
I recognize you from last year!
I knew I'd seen your face before!
But you came for a second babe.
Does no-one want a child of four?
I saw you meet your child today
But this time there was something new
A nurse came in and took MY hand
And then she gave my hand to you.
Can this be true? I'm almost six!
And there are infants here, you see?
But then you kissed me and I knew
The child you picked this time was me.
Copyright 1997
I can not wait for Lianqing to know,that indeed it is her turn. Please continue to pray for her and the adoption as we go through the last two stages, The letter of Approval and the invitation to travel. Thank you God for showing us the way to Lianqing and getting us to where we are.