Saturday, April 26, 2008

Good-bye Vietnam

Yesterday a decision was made for us as far as Vietnam. An official statement was made stating that on Sept 1,2008 only families already matched with a child would be allowed to continue their adoptions. Any unmatched dossiers would be sent back to the states and Vietnam will be closed for adoptions. This is devastating news to all those families that thought they were "safe" because their paperwork was in. It also completely put us out of any chance of being able to complete this adoption. So now what? We are going to sit and just be, be the Grimm family with 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs. We had considered moving forward on a waiting child in Kazakhstan but the 2 agencies couldn't work out an agreement to work together and since our home study is with CHI, we would have had to start all over with a new one. Which we don't have the strength or the finances to do. I had some reservations about that agency anyway. Things just didn't add up, which gave me an uneasy feeling about them. I also talked with another agency called Adoption ark. They were wonderful and compassionate. They are in it for all the right reasons. They are going to be starting an adoption program in Mongolia soon. They are going to contact us when it begins. I will see then, where my heart is, how much it costs, how long it takes and make a decision. Right now I plan to rest! I am so tired of crying, anxiety, waiting, wondering and yearning. I am emotionally exhausted,almost to the point of being numb. I read through my journal I write to Abby in, I started back in 2004. We have been through so much and still are really no closer to adopting than we were then. I don't understand why all of this has happened, when I felt sure God put this on my heart. I am not so sure anymore, I am not sure about anything but that life is uncertain and your world can change (for good or bad) in an instant. For now I am just going to be still, rest and deal with what life sends me one moment at a time.

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