The Gift of Faith

Yesterday I was brought to tears by a handmade gift from a four year old. This is an ornament made by Sarah Meizhi and her mom. She was adopted into her forever family two years ago. It says "Faith" in Chinese. Along with it was a little note which read-Faith-The assurance of things hoped for;the evidence of things unseen.
It touched my heart and just may end up being my favorite gift this year. You see you can't find gifts this precious in a store,money can't buy them. They are priceless. Wishing you a Christmas filled with touching moments like this and gifts that are priceless. What greater gift could I have been given than the gift of "faith"??

It's Finally on it's way!!!!!

Yes,our paperwork if finally on it's way to China!!!Next step is to be logged in. The agency said that should be in a few weeks. If we could be logged in by Christmas that would be the best present I could recieve. It feels SO good to be a step closer!
Keep praying!!!

MY heart speaks

I first heard this song last year when Chuck and I went to the Third day Christmas Concert. It touched my heart then and I talked about the impact it made on me and included the lyrics on my blog. We were on a waiting list for Vietnam with hundreds of people in front of us and no idea what the year ahead would bring. So much has happened&changed in one year. This year as I listen to this song that speaks my heart so well, I look at a little girl's face and pray to God that this year is THE year. I wonder what my life will be like a year from now and what lies ahead for us all in the months ahead. Will this be the year I finally get to hold the daughter I have held in my heart for so long?? Please listen and watch this video that another family in these shoes made for their daughter in China. Merry Christmas to all but especially you Abby!

Hooray It's finally here!

Yesterday the mailman brought the much anticipated immigration letter. Which I sent next day air to the adoption agency. Now what??More waiting. It needs to be certified along with recommendation to adopt letter from the agency. Which will probably take about two more weeks then we can finally submit our dossier.I will be the happiest woman on the planet that day. We may be in another pile but we will be in a pile in China! Please keep praying for the adoption and for Abby.

Sending You the Gift I Know You'll Get

Dear Abby,
I may not know whether you will receive the present I sent you but I know God delivers this "gift" to you everynight. I'm so sorry this is taking so long.
We will be there as soon as we can...love you
KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night
anonymous
All Our Love,
Mom & Dad

To Abby with Love

Here is Abby's Christmas gift that is on its way to China. A musical Pooh bear and two Chinese sticker paper doll books.I was thrilled to find the one with the doll named Lian since her Chinese name is Lian Qing Who knows whether they will ever reach her hands but I bought duplicates of everything so in case she does ever play with them, she can make the connection. I can tell her how we were on the other side of the world missing and loving her. Still no paper from Immigration.I think Christmas is going to be a bit emotional for me this year. Since my dad died,it doesn't take much to make the tears start during the holiday season,happy or sad. So this year with a picture of a sad little girl(that is my daughter) on my fridge, it should be real interesting. I cried when I put it in the Ziploc bag, I cried when I wrote out the label. I cry when I think about her getting it and I cry when I think about her NOT getting it because she doesn't even know about us yet. Hopefully, God's plan and my plan are similar and next year she will be here and all this pain and waiting will be a distant memory. How can you love someone so much that you have never met???

and another month goes by....

Four months ago today I got the phone call,"China has pre-approved you to adopt Lianqing." I was so unbelievably ecstatic! When I got the official pre-approval document and saw we had 6 months to get the paperwork into China ,I remember thinking no way is it going to take us THAT long to get the paperwork in. Now another month has gone by,and my paperwork is not over there.I sit and WAIT,for this is no longer in my hands.In my faithful moments,I tell myself it is in God's hands and he has everything under control.His timing is perfect.Then there are my freak out moments,when every possible thing that can go wrong swirls around in my head,when I realize I have just lost another four weeks of her life that I can never get back and my heart aches so badly. 60 days is all I have left and then I will lose her. I know I need to remain faithful and positive. It is the only way to get through these days. I wish I could send everything but the immigration paper,so they know we are continuing the adoption and we want her but that is not possiable.So I sit and wait and dream and pray....

And The Winner Is....

Gracie's Garden!!!! It received 60% of the vote Thanks to everyone that voted. I can't wait to paint the room. I am hoping to do that over my Christmas break. Exciting times ahead:)

One Piece of Paper...

One piece of paper is all we need to have our dossier complete. Brandon had his fingerprinting done on Wednesday,DCFS has issued our endorsement letter,so now it is just a waiting game for one piece of paper from immigration. Once I send that to our adoption agency it gets processed along with the rest and about two weeks after that,it will be on it's way to China. I will be doing a happy dance on that day!!
I am able to send her something for Christmas but it must fit in a gallon Ziploc bag. I am not sure what to send. I do not think that they tell the children they are being adopted until the paperwork has been accepted. Which makes me wonder if she will get it at all or if it will be more like a donation to the orphanage. I have this musical Classic Pooh that I bought many years ago when I planning on an infant. I remember writing in my journal to her about wanting it to be the first thing I give her. I would like to send it but again I am afraid it will not be given to her. Chuck had a great idea to get another one and send one to her and have the other one on her bed when she gets here. Do you think I can find another identical Pooh? Of course not. I bought it at Target in the baby section but they don't carry it any longer. I am going to keep checking ebay. If anyone has any ideas or any knowledge of how things go, as far as when a child at the orphanage receives a gift, please leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you

A Little Fun

I have been doing a lot of dreaming and playing online with decorating ideas for Abby's room. I have found three bedding sets I really like. I thought it would be fun to vote(it will be good practice). Please look at the 3 choices and then vote for you favorite. The winner will be posted on Nov.4th



The first Choice is called Flower Basket
The second bedding picture is Pink Shabby Chic
and the last choice is called Gracie's Garden.
Please vote on the poll provided on the side. I can't wait to see which one wins.

A Step in the Right Direction

Just wanted to let you all know your prayers are working,I recieved the notice for Brandon's fingerprinting. He goes October 29th,a few weeks for clearance and that part of immigration will be complete. Every step is step to bringing Abby home :)

Who says God doesn't speak to you?

So last night I wrote my post titled "Let go and Let God",I was missing Abby and feeling a little discouraged.I went to bed and prayed,got up this morning, checked my email and then on to daily word.com and this is what I found ....
Daily Word — Saturday, October 18, 2008

Let Go, Let God
I let go of all concern and trust God for the perfect outcome.
Awaiting the outcome of a situation can challenge my peace of mind, but only if I let it. I choose not to let it.
Looking to God in prayer, I call upon my vital source of inner strength. I deepen my spiritual understanding and gain greater insight and patience. During my prayer time, I release any concerns and preconceived ideas about how the situation will unfold. I am ready for great results.
My faith in God helps me replace any negative perception with a positive outlook. With renewed strength, I relax into a realization of God's presence and let events develop according to divine timing.
Through greater strength and deeper faith, I trust God for the right resolution and the perfect outcome.
"What is my strength, that I should wait? And what is my end, that I should be patient?"--Job 6:11
I feel like he is speaking to me and letting me know to trust him, not to worry. I have a little more peace of mind and heart.

Let Go and Let God

I received an email from our SW who said she turned the homestudy in to DCFS when it was completed. I think that was late August.She supposedly was contacting them to find out the status but ahven't heard anymore. I suppose it is possible for it to sit in a pile for 6 weeks. The hardest part of this whole mess is that I have very little if any control over this. These government run agencies are on their own schedule. They see paper work not a child.I am really trying to be faithful and not fearful but I have to be honest,it is a daily struggle for me. Hopefully Brandon's fingerprint appt will come soon and I will at least feel like I am moving in the right direction.Until then all I can do is let go and let God.

HELP

Today I went to the mailbox and saw 2 envelopes from immigration. I was excited, thinking one had to be Brandon's fingerprinting appt.-NOPE! One was a check they were returning because they found our first set of paperwork, the second was like a punch in the stomach. It seems our SW was suppose to have our home study approved by DCFS before it can be sent to immigration and it was not, so they can not process out request until be have DCFS approval. I am really MAD at her for dropping the ball and really scared about further delays causing us to not get our paperwork into China on time. I am about at my wits end with all of this. Please keep the adoption and my sanity in your prayers

Thank you God!!

I heard from both immigration and the adoption agency. Immigration has no record of receiving the paper work so that was a bit of a bummer. I gathered it all up again and sent it UPS next day air. Hopefully,they will QUICKLY begin processing all of that. Now for the great news,the attestation the agency added to our documents worked! They have been certified through Washington Secretary of State! Yeah:)
I really don't know if I would have been able to keep my wits about me if I would have had to redo it. I am just praying Immigration moves quickly, that is the last piece to the puzzle. I want so badly to get our dossier over to China so I can feel one step closer to bringing our little girl home!!

Lori and the terrible,horrible, no good, very bad day

I am ready to end one of the worst days I have had in a LONG time. It started out bad and got worse- I won't bore you with all the details but I will share with you some adoption news that is causing me to worry. I contacted our agency because I thought it had been a long time since I mailed immigration the request for Brandon's finger printing,change of country etc. I mailed it on Sept.9 and they have not even cashed my check. When she learned of this she suggested I contact them to make sure it is not lost..WHAT!!! If it's lost that is a BIG deal!!! I had Chuck buy delivery confirmation but he threw out the paper because he thought they had received it. If that alone isn't enough. Half our paperwork is being returned because of a problem with the notary. Which means it will all have to be done over again. I feel like I am taking one step forward and ten steps back.There is a possibility that our adoption case worker can provide a "footnote" on each document that "this is a genuine and true document" sign it and have it notarized there and then have the Washington(that the state they're in)Sect. of State certify it. Please pray that God will put his hand in this and lead us through all these problems and red tape. I am starting to get nervous about not making our pre-approval date. I don't think I could bear it if I somehow lost her after seeing her sweet face. I am trying to focus on tomorrow and this day from the time I got up , through work with all its problems, until 10 minutes ago when I was cleaning up dog XXXX for the third time, is almost over and tomorrow is a new day full of hope.

The waiting is the hardest part

We are in a holding pattern right now of waiting. Waiting for immigration to contact Brandon for his fingerprinting so we can wait for FBI clearance,waiting for immigration to switch our adopting country from Vietnam to China,waiting for immigration to grant us permission to adopt an orphan from overseas. All this is what is holding up our paperwork from being sent to China. Where we will WAIT to be logged in,then we will WAIT for our acceptance letter then we will WAIT for permission to travel. I have been waiting for this a long time. Five years of waiting just to get to this exciting point of waiting. Now that I have a picture and a face of a little girl who is WAITING for me, it is much harder to wait. Don't these people know I am NOT a good "waiter". Which is why I celebrate "Family Christmas" on the 23rd of December and why anyone close to me knows not to send me a gift unless you want me to open it then and not wait. I know God's timing is perfect and there must be some reason for all this waiting but When I see how much she has grown,when I look at that little face and I imagine her here playing with all the things that are waiting for her... the waiting is truly the hardest part!

An Unexpected Surprise!!!!

Today I checked my email on my lunch and found a wonderful surprise,new pictures of Lianqing(Abby)and measurements too.She is MUCH smaller than she appears.
She is 3ft 6inches tall and 35lbs.(Not the average size of a five year old) Obviously malnutrition is playing into this. As exciting as it was to get new photos,it also broke my heart at the same time. We don't even have our paper work over there and after it is, there may be a 5 month wait. She looks so sad to me and I don't know if you can tell but she has bug bites on her legs. I just want to GO GET HER and BRING HER HOME. Please say a prayer for her and that God will put his hand in this and move things along quickly and smoothly. Although,I know it is going to be an incrediably big adjustment when we are finally together,I just want her to know love and happiness. Prayers please :)

Almost done

We visited Grandpa Grimm over the weekend. He has been working hard on Abby's dollhouse since January and as you can see it is almost done.I am so thankful for all the time and energy he put in to it. I know Chuck does not have the time or patience right now to undertake such a project. As far as our dossier goes, our home study is supposed to be finalized today. Then it can be sent to immigration to process our petition to adopt an orphan from China. All our other paperwork has been sent to the adoption agency for authentication etc. Brandon will get fingerprinted again on Sept.15Th (his 18Th birthday). This time for the FBI clearance. Hopefully,the immigration part won't take a ridiculous amount of time as it sometimes does and we can get this all over to China soon. One day at a time,that's what keeps me sane :)

Happy Birthday Lian Qing( Abby-Grace)

Today is Abby's 5th birthday and though I am on a ship having my every whim attended to,I can't help but be a little sad when I think that there is a little girl in China turning 5 today(probably many)that has never had a birthday cake, or a present or people to sing to her. Today will be like every other day in the orphanage. Little does she know a half a world away her waiting family will be celebrating her and her birthday tonight. We will have cake,we will sing to her, we will give thanks to God that through his grace this will hopefully be the last birthday in the orphanage and that 1 year from now there will be a celebration all about her and the fact that she was born into this world matters. If you read this on her birthday, say a little birthday prayer that the adoption moves smoothly and quickly, our prayers are the best gift we could give her!

What's up

We had our final home study visit with the social worker and she hopes to have the updated home study done in about 2 weeks. We are beginning to gather documents for our dossier(paperwork for China). I am really hoping to have our portion done by early September so the adoption agency can do what they have to and get it to China!
You may have noticed I changed the name at the top of the blog to Abby-Grace. We have talked a lot about what to do about her name. We don't want to completely ignore the fact that right now her name is Lian Qing, however our family has called this faceless dream of a child Abby for 5 years, I definitely wanted "Grace" some where because it is only by the GRACE of GOD we are receiving this gift.I thought long and hard and remembered this darling little girl at school who's name is Alexis-Grace and so after talking with Chuck, her name will be Abby-Grace Lian Grimm. We will start calling her Lian when we first meet and gradually teach her Abby.
I did a little clearance shopping at Target. It was so fun to look through the little girl section. I don't really know her size but I thought I'd be safe with a 5.(she is suppose to be a little peanut.) I got a pair of shorts, a little top and a giraffe raincoat all for seven bucks.I can't even tell you the feeling in my heart when I think about this actually happening. I am going to have a daughter! After 5 long years of dreaming and praying and waiting and crying and crying some more, it looks like God is finally leading us to where she is.

I am getting excited

It is all starting to sink in that this time my dream may actually come to pass. That we are going to have a daughter! I was in Target today and I passed the little girl section, stopped as my heart skipped a beat and proceeded to look around with joy and anticipation. We have our last visit with our SW on July 23rd,hopefully our home study will be done soon. I spoke with the agency which told me now that we have approval and have begun working on the dossier,they can request updated photos and measurements of Lian Qing. I think the ones I have are about a year old. That really excited me as well.I feel a calm,that God is with us and now that I have given up control and given it to him,everything is going to be OK.

THEY SAID YES!!!!!!

Well,here she is,our future daughter Shen Lian Qing. We got the call today that we were pre-approved by China. We only have few hundred more hoops to jump through and she will be ours forever. I have a swirl of emotions running through me. Everything from giddy excitement to"OMG"fear. I will continue to put this in the Lord's hands&ask for his guidance. I will write more soon,right now I am going to go do a"happy dance"

Still Waiting...

We still haven't heard anything on our pre-approval from China. We have been chipping away at our paper work. We all had physicals and Brandon was fingerprinted for DCFS last week,we meet for our 2nd visit with the SW on Tuesaday and July 8th, we go to the Immigration Dept for re-fingerprinting. Time is really going quickly. Summer is flying by. Brandon leaves for his mission trip with church on July 3rd. Please pray for him and his team as they bring the word of God to the poverty stricken areas of St. Lucia. Two weeks with no contact with him is going to be rough for me. Hopefully, we will get some adoption news in those two weeks. Until then I give it all to the Lord for he knows best!

AHHHHHHH!!

Well,we had our home visit yesterday and it's all a little overwhelming! We basically are completely starting over with the home study,we have important documents expiring,issues with "switching countries", paper work coming out our ears,Brandon becoming an "adult"in September,which is a whole other problem as far as paperwork is concerned.
Last night I went to bed and cried. I am already exhausted from all we have gone through for the past few years,the paperwork,the disappointments,the waiting and then I saw this glimmer of hope. I now feel as if overnight someone has dropped a brick wall in front of it. I prayed that God would give me strength and direction and he has answered. I called a friend who has already adopted from China and basically had melt down. She is amazing in her knowledge and clarity of it all. She is helping me(a lot!). I feel like she is truly heaven sent because I don't know if I could do it all by myself.Thank God for the angels among us!
As much as I am excited and eager to hear about pre-approval,a part of me hopes it takes a while because as soon as we have that,the 3 month clock starts ticking. I know I have to just give it all to God and let his plan and timing happen. Whew- I feel better already.

coincidence or a "sign"??

The other day I was surfing the web. I made a stop at eBay and was putting in random words that came to mind. I decided to put in "Lian" since that is technically the waiting girl's name we are hoping to adopt and up pops this Cherished Teddy named Lian. A bear designed from China with "Our Friendship Spans Many Miles" stamped on the bottom.As some of you know I used to collect Cherished Teddies. I stopped after they had made a bear with every member of my families name. I sat their dumb founded at the thought that A) there was even a Chinese bear made and B) of all the names that it could have it has the same name as "our girl". I know to some it is nothing,just a coincidence but for me it was a moment that my heart skipped a beat.
I had another moment today that my heart skipped a beat. I called the agency because I was wondering when we could start the process for the pre-approval. She told me it has already been sent with our letter of intent to China. I guess the financial info we filled out and agency application, along with family photos have already been sent to China requesting pre-approval. We could know in as little as a week whether we are pre-approved or not. WOW! We have our home visit on Thursday. I am little nervous. I'm not sure why,we have had two before with the other agency but this is a new person. I guess I'm afraid she'll check a closet and decide it's too messy and we're not fit to parent a child LOL. I'm really trying to stay grounded and not let my heart get in too deep but it's hard. I find myself daydreaming about her all the time.
Every night when I pray I give this adoption to God and trust that he knows what is best for everyone involved. Hopefully,that is this very long,hard journey has all been so we could find this child and bring her home to her forever family.

Moving Along

Well,things are moving right along. This week we sent in our application along with some other paperwork,contacted the SW for updating our home study. She is planning on doing the home visit the week ot June 9th.(Yikes) I typed out the"Letter of Intent" which basically lets China know there is someone who wants to adopt a waiting special needs child. Next will come the BIG things,the pre-approval and the dossier.It will take 2-4 weeks to find out if we are pre-approved. If we are then we have 3 months to submit a dossier and will travel 2-4 months after that is received. I am so glad I am going to be off when all of this paprework is happening. I am trying not to get TOO excited because we all know how quickly things can change(for good or bad). I do find my self daydreaming of what it would be like to have her home. Sometimes a wave of fear comes over me but then I give it to God and know he will be leading us the whole way.:)

An Open Door?

A lot has happened. We were sent a file of a waiting little girl in China by an agency I contacted about a Thailand program. She is a waiting child in China. She is four years old. She has a repaired cleft lip/palate. I have seen God work in the last three days. He has opened door that were once closed. We were once told China was not a good choice because of Chuck's DUI. This agency feels because it has been over twenty years ago,it shouldn't be a deal breaker. They said we could get pre-approval before submitting all the paperwork. I am cautiously excited, a little overwhelmed at the thought of the paper work ahead of us. I have a strange calm about me(which is NOT like me)that I need to give this to God and he will make happen what is to happen.
God has placed her on our path, I don't know the future,I don't know if she is the "one" but we feel that we need to step out in faith. It would certainly explain the HEARTBREAK of the last few months. She is older than we had planned but maybe God knows that a toddler/baby doesn't really fit in to a family with 18 and 13 year old boys. Honestly,after the initial adjustment an older child would probably fit in better with our family. I had written out a whole other blog with her picture but then I felt like that was unethical to post her picture without knowing if she is "ours" or getting permission from the agency. Please pray for God's guiding hand with this situation. :)

Where in the world are you?

It's 4a.m. I can't sleep because my mind races with confusion. Yesterday a sense of panic came over me, that we had done the wrong thing withdrawing from Vietnam. What if it only closes for a few months? Does God Let you go down a wrong road for a year and then say no? If He does why? I was kidding myself thinking my heart could rest. I tried to replace the yearning with worldly things like our vacation ,talk of remodeling the kitchen. It always come back to this yearning in my heart. If it's not suppose to happen then why doesn't God make it go away. I have NEVER had a hard time with any of my birthdays. I have always been excited and had a child like attitude. This year I can't stop crying because I am another year older and I am NO closer to fulfilling this dream. I always said as long as we were on the road to getting her by the time I was 40, I wouldn't be too old. Last year I was on the road,everything was moving along. Tomorrow I will be 41 and I don't even know where to begin to look for her. God knows I don't want to pick the wrong road AGAIN. I know most people don't understand why I can't let this go. I FEEL her in my heart, like she is my daughter. I believe GOD put it there. I believe with all my heart, even now, this IS suppose to happen. May be that is why God won't let me rest. This is what it feels like- Your child is missing and you have to find her, but you can't. No matter how hard you try and pray, she is out there lost. You can't rest because you don't want her to have to spend one more day than she has to lost and afraid. You can't rest until she is home with her family, where she belongs. WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU????? Please pray for me, for guidance, for God to show me the way to fill this calling, however that may be. I need my heart to be at peace.

Good-bye Vietnam

Yesterday a decision was made for us as far as Vietnam. An official statement was made stating that on Sept 1,2008 only families already matched with a child would be allowed to continue their adoptions. Any unmatched dossiers would be sent back to the states and Vietnam will be closed for adoptions. This is devastating news to all those families that thought they were "safe" because their paperwork was in. It also completely put us out of any chance of being able to complete this adoption. So now what? We are going to sit and just be, be the Grimm family with 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs. We had considered moving forward on a waiting child in Kazakhstan but the 2 agencies couldn't work out an agreement to work together and since our home study is with CHI, we would have had to start all over with a new one. Which we don't have the strength or the finances to do. I had some reservations about that agency anyway. Things just didn't add up, which gave me an uneasy feeling about them. I also talked with another agency called Adoption ark. They were wonderful and compassionate. They are in it for all the right reasons. They are going to be starting an adoption program in Mongolia soon. They are going to contact us when it begins. I will see then, where my heart is, how much it costs, how long it takes and make a decision. Right now I plan to rest! I am so tired of crying, anxiety, waiting, wondering and yearning. I am emotionally exhausted,almost to the point of being numb. I read through my journal I write to Abby in, I started back in 2004. We have been through so much and still are really no closer to adopting than we were then. I don't understand why all of this has happened, when I felt sure God put this on my heart. I am not so sure anymore, I am not sure about anything but that life is uncertain and your world can change (for good or bad) in an instant. For now I am just going to be still, rest and deal with what life sends me one moment at a time.

Decisions

Well, I talked to our adoption SW last week asked about are options. We are #121 so it doesn't look good for making the September 1st deadline. We can withdraw from the program and get 1/2 our money back, if we wait and it closes and then quit we get nothing back. We can sit on the waiting list while it is closed and probably be pretty far along when it reopens considering most people switch programs when something like this happens. There is also the option of checking on the waiting children /special need children in other adoption agencies. That too involves risk . I have heard of people accepting a waiting child ,going to pick them up and the child not being available but another child with more severe disablilities is offered. we have already invested about $6000 dollars into this adoption. Chuck and I really haven't had a heart to heart about this yet. I think he feels if he ignores it,it will take care of it self but we definitely have some heart felt decisions to make. Part of me feels like I am tired and worn out from the hoping,anxiety,uncertainty roller coaster we have been on for the past 5 years- many times feeling like someone has ripped my heart out.
Then on the other side, I FEEL her in my heart, this is suppose to happen. We have had so many little "signs" happen to us along the way that gave us hope. Then I go back to, if it's suppose to happen ,why do we keep running into brick walls???
I have really in these past weeks tried to focus on the blessings already in my life.
I have MANY dear 6 year old children at my job, that greet me with smiles and hugs. They are so full of love and aren't afraid to give it out. I have two good teenage boys(is that an oxymoron-LOL) Although this isn't my favorite stage of motherhood, I have had the blessing of being a mommy. Many of the blogs I read the couples have infertility problems and have NEVER gotten to be a mommy/daddy. My infertility is self imposed for which I will forever regret. Sometimes i think this my punishment for not appreciating what I was given. Anyway,focus on what you have is my game plan these next weeks. Chuck and I will be making our decision this week, please pray for God to guide us to do his will and to give us strength for whatever road we follow

The Perfect Song for Me

I have added the perfect song , it tells just how I feel. Even though we are going through this very hard time. I have to remember he is my Heavenly Father, who has given me many blessing throughout my life. Including a wonderful Earth father, who I miss dearly. I've got to continue to "Praise him in this Storm"
P.S. CHI got 2 referrals today now, we are #123 :)


Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

The End Of The Road??????

Well, I haven't written in a long time because I kept hoping I would have something good or encouraging to write. Things regarding Vietnam adoptions have been getting progressively worse. The U.S. and Vietnam were suppose to meet sometime in March to come up with a new agreement, which expires 8/30/08.For some reason an agreement must be made 6 months prior to signing. Well, March 31st has come and gone and neither side has made any attempts to come up with a new agreement or even set up talks. So on August 30th Vietnam will officially be closed for adoptions. Any family without it's paperwork logged in at Vietnam will not receive a referral for a child until it re-opens under a new agreement. The last time this happened it was 2 years before it re-opened. So basically we need a miracle for this adoption to happen. 26 families have to receive a referral before we will even get the go ahead to start our paperwork. Even if we made that, it takes months to get your paper work completed, authenticated,sent to the U.S. embassy, translated and sent on to the officials in Vietnam. So things are not looking good for us. Chuck and I both agreed this was our last attempt. If something bad happened, we would have to just take it as a "no" from God. We haven't officially "quit" the adoption because it doesn't cost us anything to sit for awhile and see what happens. I guess I am still holding out that God will step in and save the day. My heart has been breaking these past weeks as I try to come to terms with these facts. There is probably never going to be an Abby, I will probably never give her all the special things I have waiting for her, I will never have my moment, when our eyes meet and I finally get to hold her. I still have a tiny glimmer of hope in my heart but everyday the news from the adoption world gets worse so it's all In God's hands now.... :(

Super Grandpa

Well,as you can see Grandpa Grimm has been very busy working on the dollhouse. It has been quite a project as each shingle has to be glued on. It's going to be amazing when it's finished. Today is eight months waiting for Abby's referral. Today I am feeling down, eight months and we still have 127 people in front of us. Also there is a terrible virus going through the orphanages in Vietnam. Nine babies in just one orphanage have died from lack of medical treatment. One of those babies was a referral of a families whos blog I follow. It's very sad. Please pray that no more children will die from this terrible virus and pray for spring.

Happy New Year- The Year of the Rat

Today is the the Chinese New Year or Tet as it is called in Vietnam. It is the biggest celebration of the Asian countries. The celebrating will go well into next week. I know this because we were told NOTHING will happen with the adoption process until probably the 15th because everything is closed. The U.S.needs to celebrate this,in the middle if the long winter,everyone just takes a week off and spends it with their family(in FLORIDA). We did get some good news this week,we are #131, which is 10 better than we thought. The Lord willing we will at least have a picture by this time next year. Let's hope the year of the Rat is a good one:)

Until we are together

I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ORPHANS, I WILL COME TO YOU
JOHN 14:18

Encouraging

Today I met with Brandon's English teacher, who recently returned from Vietnam. She adopted a baby boy. It was a very encouraging visit,as she showed me pictures of Vietnam,the orphanage and told me of her trip. There is much more to see there then I realized. She eased a lot of my anxieties about cultural differences. She enjoyed the food and said her experience with the Vietnamese people was wonderful. Many came up to her and said"lucky baby" One young girl came up to her and said"no mother, No father" She pointed to her son and said "New mother,New Father" Thank You. She said it was very touching. It was so great talking to someone who has been through it all. The last thing she said to me really touched my heart. she said, " I know sometimes it is hard to wait but you will end up with YOUR child ,the one that was meant for you and your family. Hearing that makes waiting a little bit easier.

Grandpa to the Rescue

Well,after sitting for 6 months in our family room,much to my dismay nothing had been done on the dollhouse we bought last summer. Chuck mentioned it to his dad and he said he'd take a look at it. We gave it to him on January 1st and what this man has accomplished in 4 stinkin' days is amazing!! Go Ernie Go. We dropped off paint yesterday. I am so excited now at the idea of this actually getting done & I am so gratful that he was willing to put the time and effort into this. I am hoping to keep putting pictures up as it progresses

Happy New Year

Well, another year has come and gone but this year was a year that we moved forward on the adoption and officially became a "waiting family". Though in my heart we've been a waiting family for MANY years. Our SW came out on the 2nd because the homestudy has to be updated yearly. She said we have about 100 families infront of us But 100 behind us also. I told her I had a good feeling about this year-she said I do too. That was encouraging. Brandon has to go through quite a bit of paperwork and fingerprinting by his 18th birthday in September, since he will be a legal adult. That seems so funny to me, I have gotten other letters informing me of his upcoming "adulthood". I think to my self, These people must be crazy, that's no adult- THAT'S MY BABY!
She said we should be getting an ok to start on our dossier soon(GOOD NEWS). Well, We will all just have to sit back and see what that wonderful, wacky God of ours has in store for us all in 2008. 2007 was filled with so many blessings and that is what I hope for 2008 for my family, friends and a little orphan girl waiting somewhere in Vietnam.