Joy,Sorrow, and Hope

Well, this week has been like a roller coaster,and anyone who knows me, knows that I hate roller coasters. I'm afraid of them because I don't know what is going to happen next...just like my week. The week started off great with an adoption shower at church for Abby-Grace(sorry I don't have pics, our real computer is broken.I promise I will post soon). It was so wonderful and I was so full of joy being able to finally answer the question"When will you get her?" We received a bunch of stuff for her but what really touched my heart was the excitement and support everyone had for her arrival. I could see the finish line right in front of us. As the work week began, I started hearing about the swine flu but I had know idea how much it would effect my life. The week went on and I started hearing rumors that it may start impacting travel in the adoption world. I emailed our agency but before I received an answer, the Chinese Consulate of Adoption Affairs put out a statement. They are taking this very seriously and some agencies are not allowing their families to travel. One I know of was to leave a week from today and had tickets etc.What a crime in my mind. I took this statement from the CCAA to mean they would not be sending out any more travel approvals. Which we don't have yet. Some people were saying it could be 3-5 months until things are back to normal. Let's just say I had a mini breakdown with all this information swirling around. I have SO been dreaming of finally seeing her sweet face,of her NOT being in the orphanage for her bday,of having the summer off to spend outside with her. This time was the closest I have ever felt to her,it felt SO good but made the idea of a set back hurt SO bad. Thursday afternoon I talked to my adoption coordinator - She told me that they have not received any word that Travel approvals have stopped being given and that there is still a chance that we could possibly keep our tenative dates. It is hard to get accurate information because it is a holiday in China and everything is closed. So there is my tiny ray of hope,that I am holding onto. We should have received our TA by now,it is usually 2-4 weeks and it was 5 weeks on Thursday. I am trying so hard to trust God and believe that he has it all under control. It is times like this I feel like such a weak Christian. I am scared and worried and don't understand why this is all happening. I'm annoyed that this swine flu is being made such a big deal of, when according to my friend in the health profession,over 20,000 people die a year from just the regular old influenza we get every winter. It's ridiculous to have these children in orphanages wait longer,they've already waited TOO LONG. I am trying to put my focus and prayer into HOPE and see what next week brings. It is either going to be really good news or really bad news. PLEASE pray for this adoption and Abby-Grace, that God would put his protective hand around this adoption.